I look around, there’s no one behind me or beside me. I say “what?”. He says “you should get a tan, don’t ya think?”
Is this guy an idiot? Seriously, does he have eyes? Is he dim witted? I say “are you seriously talking to me? You really think I need to GET A TAN?” He looks at me like I'M the dumb one. SO – I politely inform him of the obvious. It’s the dead of winter….we live in the northern hemisphere; it’s too damn cold for the sun to hang around for any length of time. AND you do realize that I am a red head. Not too many red heads I know can carry off a tan….even the fake ones don’t work for us. The pigment in our skin (or the lack thereof) forbids such extravagances.
I did try a tanning bed once; for a month. My husband won this free trip to Jamaica. I didn’t want to make the trek south with my skin being as transparent as it is; so I decided to “go tanning”. WELL, I was a student AKA poor. I saved all of my drinking ahem I mean grocery money that I could forgo to buy the tanning sessions. I went faithfully, twice a week for a month….laying NAKED in a well lit coffin…scared to death someone was going to come in…and scared to death that I was going to catch some strange disease from the last naked fool that slept in this box. Ugh. What a waste of money for me. Not even a new freckle, nothing, nodda…..I was the same shade of translucent that I was a month prior. We didn’t go to Jamaica either…not because I couldn’t get a tan – the free trip was going to cost 5k with all of the hidden fees – not feasible for a couple of students.
So Mr. Jerk who thinks I need a tan…..No I Don’t. I am fine just the way I am. And even if I wasn’t fine with the way I am , that’s the way it’s gunna be….so there!