Wow! well.....I guess my answer would depend on one thing; where am I going to be imprisoned? If it's not in Canada - shoot me now. I don't think I could bear the torture and abuse that reportedly goes on in some prisons around the world. SO - if I am going to be "locked up" in Canada - I think I would take "life" over execution. I suspect my first few years in the slammer would be rough - being a corrections officer I will have a hard time making friends - and it's not like they wouldn't know me - like really who doesn't know me? I will be one helluva an inmate....until I have my "Status" established I will be a nightmare for the guards and inmates alike! I will likely spend a few months in the hole for the lugging of contraband and for the severe beatings I will be forced to give.....I will have to hold my own.....I ain't gunna be no one's BITCH - that's fo sho.
Once all of that is out of the way....I'd say three years tops.....I will be ready to run the joint! I will be the richest, most powerful lifer in the Penn. I will have the young ones lugging dope, smokes and weapons.....this wealth will give me all of the power I need to establish a great life on the "inside". I will be living the life of ROYALTY; or maybe just the life of a big dog....you know...like in the cartoons...with a chihuahua jumping around trying to please! Either way - I will RULE!
Now, I know what you are thinking...what about my family? Of course I would miss my family....the pain of not seeing them would be beyond words...BUT - anyone who knows me would know that I would only go to prison for one thing - and my family would understand and appreciate that my "new life" is a result of my defence and protection of them. It's all about attitude!
I will embrace the challenge before me - and I will excel! I will live life to the fullest - in the end; it will likely be a good life....no house maintenance, no bills, no career, no traffic jams, meals provided, clothing provided, lots of girl friends, free education, no telemarketers....geeze....when can I go????