Twelve years ago today was one of the greatest days in my life. Twelve years ago today was one of the most difficult days of my life. Twelve years ago today my life changed so drastically in one moment that I had little to no recollection of life before that moment. Twelve years ago today my darling daughter entered the world at a whooping 10lbs 3 oz and 24" long.....drug free I might add. It was at that moment that I truely understood what love is. That feeling that overwhelms your entire soul when you gaze upon that new life is the most incredible I have EVER had privledge of experiencing.
Now, having a baby is not all sunshine and lollipops! Au contraire.....babies are not easy. After a couple of days with this new bundle of joy; reality sets in.....and I mean REALITY......no sleep, poopie diapers, spit up, crying, screaming, sore boobs, sore bird, messy house, too many visitors, oh did I mention no sleep? Yeah.....it's at about day 3 or 4 when the fun starts to wear off and you begin to mourn the loss of your life as you knew it. Then you feel guilty. You beat yourself up because you are feeling this way - you think that you are supposed to be loving all of this. Like really, you see it on TV all the time. The perfect moms with the perfect babies, the pre-baby body back together in about a week - all happy and "put together". Meanwhile, you take a peek in the mirror. Who the hell is that? What happened to me? I look at feel like I have been in the trenches for the past 2 weeks!! Should I not be radiant and beautiful since I have been basking in post-natal bliss? hmmmmm.....yeah RIGHT.
It takes a little while, but you get the hang of things, and it becomes a little easier. That love connection that is felt when your bundle arrives.....THAT is what gets you through the battle. THAT is what keeps you going. THAT is what you remember twelve years down the road and your little pre-teen rolls her eyes at you when you tell her "I love you" in front of her friends.....
Today is one of the most important days of my life - it is the anniversary of the day I became a MOM.