Have you ever been to one of "those" parties?

LMAO! Really?  I played coy at first....maybe she didn't know.  It is that time of year that people start hosting their "home" parties.  There's something for everyone out there - cleaning products, candles, home decor, smelly things, pretty things.....and THOSE things.  She was truely disgusted at the thought/idea of someone coming into her friends home with "EEEEKKKK" SEX toys!  She was appalled that her friend could do such a thing.  I am chomping at the bit to confess.....but I can't.....not yet.  She rants on and on about how she "would never be caught" at such a party - and then she says - really Tara, could you go to one of THOSE parties.....
I then EXPLODED!  I was grinning from ear to ear, giggling like a child when I said - I used to be a comsultant for THOSE parties.  And quite frankly, I LOVED it!  And part of me would like to get back into it.
She almost died.  I know her heart stopped a little... "open mouth - insert foot" LOL!!!!!  She stuttered and stammered, not knowing what to say.  I spoke.  I explained the TRUTH about THOSE parties.  The "toys" are part of the program - but they are not the main event.  The WOMAN is the main event.  Most come in to these parties out of curiosity.....or coersion from their buddies....
But once they get there and see the fellowship, the beauty products, the candles, the lingerie, and the toys.  They talk to others who also have the temptation to ALLOW themselves to be as sexy, beautiful, alluring, desirable, and satisfied......they FEEL....some of them FEEL for the first time in years if ever.....that they CAN be EVERYTHING they want to be.  That they can be a MOM, and be a Lover.  They learn that the toys and products aren't being sold to replace their lovers - but to enhance their relationships - buy improving communication and confidence.
THOSE parties may not be for everyone - but they certainly deserve an open mind.  And for the record - she will be attending the party - and I quote "REALLY? I had no idea!".  I'm sure she will have a blast!

How do you say "no" when you don't know how to say "no"?

Well, spring is upon us - and with spring comes the impending wedding season.  I know it's not really a "season" per se, but it seems at this time of year the plotting and planning of nuptuals is epidemic. That being said it is also the time of year that all of the "good friends" out there must plan their budgets and vacation schedules to accomodate the love birds.  Seems quiite simple doesn't it?  But it's not.  As much as it is an honor to be chosen to be a member of the Bridal party - it is a huge committment - emotionally, financially, and physically.  It's not just about "the big day" - there are a number of lead up events - showers, planning sessions, stag parties, decorations, attire, speeches, meeting the extended family.....it goes on and on.....the Bride and the Groom can become very needy and controlling creatures as "the last day of their lives as they know it" quickly approaches.
SO - this brings us to the question at hand....how do you decline the request to be part of the party?  It's tough to say "no"; but in fairness to the Couple - you must be honest with them.  It's a huge committment.  IF you can't afford it, IF can't make time necessary to be an effective member of the party, IF you have "issues" in your own life that are being dealt with, or IF you are simply not comfortably being part of the "head table" - you must tell the truth.  It's going to suck - BAD.  Your buddy will be miffed, and will offer you several solutions - but you must stick to your guns if you DO NOT want the job.  If the friendship is a true one - you will be forgiven.  Just make sure you get them a GREAT gift!
Now, if the above reasons don't cover your issue - you will have to do some fancy dancing.  If you don't like one of the marrying parties, or if you don't agree with the union - you may have to tell a white lie to get out of it.  Telling the WHOLE truth is a whole new kettle of fish.
A Bride or Groom will be more understanding than you would expect.  They will be a little hurt; but in the end - they know how much time and effort is going necessary - and they will want the best help that they can get.  You don't have to be part of the PARTY to be a great friend - and there are plenty of other ways that you can still be part of their special day.
Hope this helps.....thanks for your questions! :)

Did you hear about Charlie Sheen?

Good gawd, who hasn't?  It's all over the news, it's all over the internet, it's gracing the front of every magazine at the grocery store, and it's the talk of the town.  Seriously - who actually gives F^#K?  The guy is a drug addict, alcoholic, womanizer, who is terrorizing his town with his selfish and reckless behaviour.
Take a look around your town - no matter where you live.....take a good look.  Who is the most notorious drunk?  Who is the wildest dope-head?  Who is the greatest "player"?  Every town has one - sometimes even more than one (just like Tinseltown)...are you going to put this one up on a pedestal?  Maybe start a Facebook site to share your concerns and undying love for him?  Are you going to start a prayer chain for him?  Not to freaking likely. 
So what the hell is all the hype about Charlie Damn Sheen????  The guy is rich, famous, and used to be good looking.  He has the world by the proverbial balls and he just can't get his shit together.  Who's fault is that????  It's HIS fault.  Maybe the media (and all of you Sheenaholics) could turn your backs on him and show him a little tough-love.  In my opinion all this BS in the media is a publicity stunt - and why not?  It works for Ms Lohan doesn't it?  That girl hasn't had a job in years, but is making money off of all the jail photo shoots!
No wonder our continent is all screwed up - people actually think that Charlie Sheen is IMPORTANT news....ugh....give me a break!

What makes a good friend?

Good friends are hard to come by.  They happen a few times in a life time - but they are not a dime a dozen.  You know when you have one.  They are the friend that makes you feel good.  They are the one you look forward to visiting you early in the morning before your brush your teeth.  They are the ones that you call when you just want to rant and rave and spill your guts - not to get an answer, not for an opinion - just to sit there on the other end of the phone and hear ya say all the bullshit that is clogging you little mind.  A good friend is valuable.  BUT sadly - so few see the true value of a GOOD friend.  We, as humans - an inferior being of course - tend to take things for granted.  We generally don't appreciate anything.  We have grown accustomed to the "throw away" way of being.  This is an atrocity. We should value those who are important to us. 
For example - your precious cell phone.....you coddle that damn thing.  You buy special holster for it.  You have a jiggie set up in your car to hold it while you drive.  You have a compartment in your purse for it. 
Can you imagine how great your life would be if you put as much care into your friendships as you do for that foolish communication device????  Try it for a while.  Seriously - don't brush this one off.  Take a moment and think about that person/people who have affected your life.  Could you live without them - yeah probably - BUT how much better would your life be, and how greatly would your life worth improve if you took the time to care for relationships as much as you care for the crap you pay for?
A good friend - a TRUE friend will be there - always and forever.  It's that person you see today that you haven't seen in 10 years but you pick up right where you left off - as if the last 10 years didn't even happen.  A good friend is there for you - even though you were a tool and said shit you shouldn't have - but for some reason loves you as you are.  These are the ones for which you must swallow your pride and do the walk of shame and say "hey remember me?"....don't worry - they will!!!!