My hat is off to you......

So, I went to yoga tonight.  I never went to yoga before.  I remember as a child watching my father on the living room floor doing these wild, circus performer contortions.  I later understood that this was "yoga".  I recall thinking why would someone do that to themselves?  To knowingly and wilfully put yourself into positions that make you look daft, not to mention the risk you are taking - what if you get stuck?????  Really, this was one of the traumatic times of my childhood....oh gawd, the Lion pose....ugh....I had nightmares for years.

So this New Year's I decided that I would dedicate this year to "me".  To take more time to exercise, to spend more time with friends, to get out of the house for something other than groceries.  I have joined a couple of groups and clubs.  But YOGA has been calling my name.  Maybe it's the childhood thing resurfacing, maybe it's the tight, fit yoga bodies we see all over the place and the hope that it just might be attainable.  Who knows why?  But I did it.  I went tonight.  It is much harder than it looks. The instructor was incredible, he knew his stuff, his voice was pleasant and relaxing.  I tried to follow along.  I did this pose, that pose, stretched here and stretched there.  Then we did breathing exercises.  Everyone had their eyes closed, not me....I'm way to nosy for that.  THAT was just gross!!!  The amount of snot flying around the room from all of the yogic breathers was insane.....THAT is why you keep your eyes closed.  I recovered from that....

We then did some sun and moon stuff, I was very far out of my league.  About 4 steps behind the whole time.  But I did feel the burn.  Then we were directed to the floor on our backs.  Laying there, staring at the ceiling, breathing as directed; I totally enjoyed the silence.  Such peace.  I haven't been that relaxed in years. We start our next pose, legs up then legs down legs up then leg down breath legs up breath FART OMG the guy next be me broke wind.  I lost it.  The room of total silence destroyed.  It took me 6 minutes to stop laughing.  I was quiet, but must have been disruptive.
So I finally get my shit together enough to continue.  We are on to shoulder stands and pikes at this point.  The lovely girl next to me, who also happens to be my daughter, gets into a fantastic shoulder stand.  She is holding it well and for a long time.  I am still trying to get my fat ass up in the air when I hear THUD, CRASH Giggle.....she wiped out.  I lost it .... again.
It was at that point that I quietly rolled up my mat and tip toed out of the room.  I am far to immature for yoga.  I will try again.  Alone.  The way that sport is intended to be!