How do you say "no" when you don't know how to say "no"?

Well, spring is upon us - and with spring comes the impending wedding season.  I know it's not really a "season" per se, but it seems at this time of year the plotting and planning of nuptuals is epidemic. That being said it is also the time of year that all of the "good friends" out there must plan their budgets and vacation schedules to accomodate the love birds.  Seems quiite simple doesn't it?  But it's not.  As much as it is an honor to be chosen to be a member of the Bridal party - it is a huge committment - emotionally, financially, and physically.  It's not just about "the big day" - there are a number of lead up events - showers, planning sessions, stag parties, decorations, attire, speeches, meeting the extended family.....it goes on and on.....the Bride and the Groom can become very needy and controlling creatures as "the last day of their lives as they know it" quickly approaches.
SO - this brings us to the question at hand....how do you decline the request to be part of the party?  It's tough to say "no"; but in fairness to the Couple - you must be honest with them.  It's a huge committment.  IF you can't afford it, IF can't make time necessary to be an effective member of the party, IF you have "issues" in your own life that are being dealt with, or IF you are simply not comfortably being part of the "head table" - you must tell the truth.  It's going to suck - BAD.  Your buddy will be miffed, and will offer you several solutions - but you must stick to your guns if you DO NOT want the job.  If the friendship is a true one - you will be forgiven.  Just make sure you get them a GREAT gift!
Now, if the above reasons don't cover your issue - you will have to do some fancy dancing.  If you don't like one of the marrying parties, or if you don't agree with the union - you may have to tell a white lie to get out of it.  Telling the WHOLE truth is a whole new kettle of fish.
A Bride or Groom will be more understanding than you would expect.  They will be a little hurt; but in the end - they know how much time and effort is going necessary - and they will want the best help that they can get.  You don't have to be part of the PARTY to be a great friend - and there are plenty of other ways that you can still be part of their special day.
Hope this helps.....thanks for your questions! :)